Is Honest ALWAYS the Best Policy in Marketing?
March 9th, 2010 | General
Photo courtesy of josh.liba
I often struggle between being honest and seeming successful. I value honesty above almost all else, but it doesn’t always seem appropriate in the business world.
Say you’re having a slow month when a competitor corners you at a networking group and asks how business is going. Do you tell the truth? Do you lie?
What if, instead of a competitor, it’s a potential client? Do you really want that person to know that you’re struggling?
The Solution: Get Naked?
I’ve always felt that the business world values authority over honesty, a belief that was confirmed by a recent BusinessWeek article called “Naked Consulting: What Clients Really Want:”
“When I graduated from college and became a management consultant, one of the first things I was taught was how to answer questions from clients without giving away my age or lack of business experience,” writes Pat Lencioni.
“‘Instead of admitting that you graduated from college last spring, just say that it’s been a while since you were in school,’ was the answer I was advised to give. The underlying message was that we needed to portray ourselves as having more knowledge and experience than we actually did.
“As a result, many of my colleagues, including me, came to dislike our jobs. And to be fair, it didn’t feel as if our clients liked us much, either. But that was the world of consulting, and unfortunately, in many places, it still is.”
Lencioni goes on to write that he became a consulting client in later years, and discovered that this guise of authority rarely works to the customer’s benefit.
A Widespread Problem
This honesty trap doesn’t end at the consulting field. Christine Montross described a similar problem facing doctors in her book “Body of Work
“The culture simply becomes superhuman,” she writes. “And thus in the realm of the superhuman there is no room for human frailty, and admission of it by one risks revealing the illusion of the many. So no one speaks up, and as a result each person believes that she is alone in her experience.”
While I know that honesty is essential for breaking this harmful cycle, I still have trouble “getting naked,” as Lencioni would describe it. Sometimes it takes a great example to show me what’s really important.
When Honesty Helps More Than It Hurts
I recently received an email from a new client who wrote that he was disappointed with my copywriting. At the time, I was feeling like a bit of a failure.
Then I logged onto Twitter, where a writing colleague had written: “Just had an editor tell me my work was below par and she’d be loathe to use me again. I am stunned. Never get that kind of feedback.”
It must have taken courage to write a message like that, but it made ME feel a lot better by reminding me that I wasn’t alone. And it didn’t hurt the writer’s brand. Instead, it:
a. Positioned her as someone who cares about her work
b. Revealed that she receives mostly positive feedback
c. Generated lots of support
The Truth Behind The Successful Veneer
This situation reminded me that my own hesitation about being honest usually comes from a place of fear. I fear that my flaws are insurmountable. I fear that I’ll be ousted as the impostor I really am.
These fears keep me from reaching out for help.
That doesn’t mean you should unload your problems onto colleagues or potential clients. (Potential clients usually want help solving their own problems.) That’s only one small part of “being honest.” But it doesn’t mean you have to mask your authentic self in order to appear successful.
Take the situation I mentioned at the beginning of the post. Use it to ask for a referral, help or feedback into your situation. Then take the spotlight off yourself by asking the other person a personal question. How are you doing?
Once you’re honest with people, they feel more comfortable opening up to you … and that’s how you develop the relationships that make business worthwhile.
Do YOU struggle with honesty and insecurity in your quest for success? Share your thoughts in the comments section below.
Kelly Watson is one woman on a mission to show the world that marketing your small business doesn't have to suck. 
Clara says:
I tend to think that the quandary you describe — and yes, it's a struggle for me, too — is often connected to perfectionism. If you expect perfection of yourself, and you don't achieve it, it's hard enough to live with it yourself, much less let anyone else know about it. I also think that many of us who demand this much of ourselves are the same people who have difficulty reaching out to others for help in personal matters, in part because we're afraid of showing our vulnerability (not that I have any personal experience with this, of course…)
And, of course, those of us who approach our work that way are always convinced that everybody else is doing the perfect work we've failed to achieve. That's why a reminder that this is not the case, like the Tweet from your colleague, is such a relief. And, if we're lucky, a wake-up call.
March 9th, 2010 at 3:27 pm
callinsky says:
I believe honesty is hard, but always a good thing. People are feed bull on a fairly consistent basis, even by those whom are closest to them. It's okay not to know something and admit to it as long as you tell them that you will figure it out. When you say something like that most people have a “like wow” moment. They typically find it extremely refreshing. People rarely become wildly successful or madly sought after without taking risks, having passion, and messing up.
Typically, if a client or potential client does not find honesty a good thing they are probably not worth your totally sincere, hardworking, bend over backwards work ethics or effort. They would have probably driven you wacky anyway. Professionalism and humanism do fit together quite well.
I enjoyed this. Thank you.
March 10th, 2010 at 1:02 am
showpony says:
This is a fantastic post, thank you so much for putting forward this argument so well.
I am often left feeling amazed and quite dumfounded when I yet again read some of my competitors tweets or posts about how much they are selling and how busy their websites are. Seriously if they were that busy would they still have full time jobs to support their business? It leaves others feeling woefully inadequate or just plain disbelieving.
March 10th, 2010 at 1:49 pm
Kelly Watson says:
You bring up another side of Twitter — seeing all the great projects your peers and competitors are working on! I try to avoid it when I'm in a jealous mood, otherwise it's just counterproductive.
March 10th, 2010 at 5:13 pm
Kelly Watson says:
I agree — thank you!
March 10th, 2010 at 5:14 pm
Kelly Watson says:
You're right on the money — I'm a huge perfectionist, and it can be a problem when you're trying to run a business. I try to keep the 80-20 rule in mind … once you get a project 80 percent perfect, leave it alone!
March 10th, 2010 at 5:15 pm
Ole says:
great post.
March 22nd, 2010 at 4:02 am